PLAYING DIRTY

OMG! I got asked back for a second interview! Headhunter warned me that they think I’m way more experienced than I actually am, so his advice was to keep my trap firmly shut and let them do all the talking. He said the agency is soooo desperate for good suits that if I play my cards right I could actually land the Senior Account Director posi! Woo hoo! Money money money! There was one tiny hiccup when Siobhan came rushing into my office the day before the interview and she goes “Hey Ing, Ive just heard on the grapevine there’s a job going over the Bridge and they’re looking for a Senior Account Director. Whaddaya reckon, should I phone them up and go for it? Think about it, if I got the job it would mean you could probably get a promotion here! Maybe to Account manager!” I went all cold and clammy all over coz I realized it was exactly the same job I was going for, and if she rocked up for an interview straight after me they’d realize she was my boss and that I’m only a junior on the account. (I have to admit I did kind of leave the impression in the first interview that I run the entire shampoo portfolio all by myself.) I had to think fast so I go “Siobhan, you’ve got to be joking. I don’t want you to leave. No way am I ready to take on your job, and I’d miss you heaps. Besides which, everyone knows that agency is the gayest agency ever! Plus you’d have to go across the Bridge twice every day which is like a totes nightmare. And they’re all randoms and ferals over there and it’s a wasteland in terms of bars and coffee shops.” And Siobhan thinks about it for a few minutes and she goes “yeah, you’re right, Inga. Thanks for being honest and putting my interests ahead of yours. That’s what makes you special, hun. You’re a true friend.” I must admit I felt a bit guilty but this is advertising and Mum always says if you want a friend in advertising get a guppy. On top of which, Mum always told me (coz she knows about this stuff coz she worked in Neville Wran’s office for two weeks when she dropped out of school) that playing politics is all about saying one thing and doing the opposite. Anyway, when I turned up for the second interview I looked soooo hot coz Headhunter told me that the CEO was “of a Mediterranean persuasion” and likes his suits (all of whom are these fierce chicks) to look “suitably stylish.” Also in the interview was Head of Strategic Thinking and Executive Ideas Officer, who were these two random dudes who barely said a word and were obviously terrified of me. The power of the push up bra! But I really liked CEO and thought he was awesome. And kinda cute. He explained that as far as he was concerned I could do whatever I wanted with the account so long as I turned a decent profit every month, kept the Client sweet with whatever means I deemed necessary, and made sure the feral creatives did exactly as they were told. How hectic is that? I soooooo want this job!!