NEW JOB

OMG! I got the gig! Woooohoooo! I start next week. I can't believe it. After three years I've finally nailed it. My original plan had been to join a multinational agency so I could get friendly with their clients and then steal one of them to set up my own boutique agency with, but now I've been sucked in deeper and deeper and I've become a totes multinational whore. Soooo gay, but let's face it; the money is awesome! They're gonna be paying me way way above what I'm worth because they are so desperate to find a Suit who gets Creativity like I do. Mum went all weird on me when I told her how much I'm going to be earning (even though I lied to her and told her way less than what the salary actually is coz I don't want her trying to get her greedy paws on any of it) and she said that that amount of money was "obscene." As if! Then Siobhan goes completely spazzo at me when I handed in my reso notice this morning and starts screaming about how "that job should have been mine you two-faced little bitch" and all of that stuff but I just couldn't stop laughing coz it's so funny that now I'm going to be earning nearly three times what she does. How hectic is that? And she's been in the business for nearly twenty years. Too funny. I even said to her that if she plays her cards right I might think about letting her join me as my junior AD. At that point she picks up my iPad and chucks it across the room at me but it's still plugged in and bounces back and whacks her in the face. The best bit is that my new agency have put me in charge of the entire account all by myself. I can't tell you the name but it's the biggest account in the agency and it's worth squillions internationally, so apart from making heaps of tv ads I'll be traveling to all these fierce global strategy workshops in Bali and Florida. My flatmate Joolz couldn't understand why they chose me but I think it's coz I did exactly what Headhunter said and kept my trap firmly shut during the interview and the whole time their CEO was going "blah blah blah, which is a real strategic challenge in today's market Inga, as someone of your calibre and experience obviously knows" I just kept nodding my head and crossing my legs. Even though I didn't have a clue what he was on about. I told Headhunter that I was a bit worried that I might stuff up, but he goes "don't worry about it hun, this agency is in a class all of it's own - it boasts an unparalleled level of mediocrity and specialises in producing what without a shadow of a doubt can only be categorised as the lamest advertising in Sydney." Then he gives me this weird look and starts chuckling to himself before he goes "you know, I wouldn't be at all surprised if you're running the place within two years." Wow! How cool would that be? It's sooooo inspiring when people in the know express confidence in your abilities.