DREAM JOB

OMG! Just had this hectic interview at the best agency ever! Totes! When you go in the door it’s like nothing you ever expected. Instead of a TV and sofas and gay ads stuck up on the wall you walk into A World of Creativity! It’s soooo fierce. Props. Anyway, this bubbly blonde receptionist dressed in a frilly black tutu comes bouncing over to me and goes “did you leave your lotions behind?” which I thought was random coz I looked really hot but then I realised she must have been briefed that I’m one of the best shampoo suits in Sydney so she was trying to scab a freebie off of me. I explained I don't normally carry lotion samples with me, but she goes “No, no, no… I said ‘notions.' We want you to strip away any notions and expose yourself to who we really are." I didn’t know what she was on about, so I started to kick off my shoes, unzip my dress and loosen my bra, thinking it must be some free-love hippy type interview like the one I had to do at Yagoona Smash Repairs when I was at school. Then she goes “this is our Marketing Mantra" and reads out this ultra cool thing about the importance of creative collaboration which gave me goose bumps all over my body – although that might just have been coz I was still half undressed. The receptionist was so friendly and chatty that I confided to her that when the headhunter rang me he told me he can't get any good suits to go for interviews there but because I’m way more creative than most Suits then they’d be desperate to have me coz their creatives are really lame (hello? what's new?) and I could ask for double the salary they were offering and I’d probably get it! She laughed, and then she takes me into this fierce office and I realise she’s not the receptionist at all but she’s the Suit I’ve come to have the interview with. Oops! Anyway, she’s by far the nicest, kindest, smartest chick I’ve ever met in any agency. We cracked open a bottle of awesome wine and I explained how gay my current agency is coz New ECD keeps ignoring my suggestions about enhancing the creative process by involving the Suits more and she goes “way ahead of you on that one, hun" and explains that in her agency the creatives (who are all these feral dudes) have to show their work to her and the other Suits (who are all these awesome chicks) first - and she gets to approve everything, and she can change the work and tell the dudes how to make it better. And if she doesn’t like any of the work - which is most of the time! - she just tells them to start all over again. Only when she's happy does the CD get to see it. Soooo cool. The best bit is that her CD doesn’t really do anything apart from going “blah blah blah blah” in meetings after the Client has already signed off on it and it’s too late to change it anyway. The Suits run the show! Awesome! I’m sooo going to work there!