I'M ON FIRE

OMG! Somebody call an ambulance! I think I’m on fire! Haha. That’s my latest joke and I’ve been using it all the time and everybody laughs. When it’s only men in the meeting I change it to “somebody get a fire extinguisher and squirt foam all over me!” which gets them spluttering into their coffees. But it’s true. I am on fire. Mum always said that you shouldn’t hide your light under a bush so I’m not afraid to admit it. Coz it’s true. Mum always said that nobody on the planet is cleverer or more talented than me, it’s just that they all grew up in Vaucluse and I grew up in Yagoona. But now it’s all turned full circle coz ever since I won back my shampoo account from my old agency everyone says I’m a legend and its given me a huge confidence boost and all these amazing ideas just keep bursting out of me. Even the Creatives keep saying how I’m on fire. I had to hire Siobhan as part of the terms of moving the account over to our agency so she’s now my assistant which is kind of cool and kind of funny too and I keep making all these clever jokes about how it’s “my turn to be on top, Shawnee” which everybody thinks is hilarious even though Siobhan is obviously incredibly resentful to the fact that my career is rocketing ahead while hers has ground to a halt. Shawnee (I call her that now coz it keeps her in her place and reminds her whose boss) keeps complaining about how she’s struggling with her mortgage but I just hold up my hand and go “talk to the hand that cares, Shawnee” which shuts her up. I’m developing amazing people skills as well which is an important part of being in senior management and I have to go to all these lame meetings about “encouraging staff morale” where of course I’ve had lots of great suggestions like I suggested we should send the entire Creative department to Luna Park for the morning so they could release their inner child which is an important part of being creative. Everyone thought it was an awesome idea and then when I suggested we should change it to the Dinosaur park at Gosford to show them how the Executive Creative Director of the past is nothing but a dinosaur (I read about it in B&T) everyone agreed that I was on fire. The best bit is there’s this hectic Global Creative Workshop to discuss the future positioning strategies for all our haircare brands and every CD from around the world is flying to London for two weeks. We were discussing it in the management team meeting the other day and I pointed out that ECD knows absolutely nothing about haircare (which got a huge laugh coz he’s bald and worse he tries to hide it by wearing these stupid knitted beanies) and that nobody in the agency had any experience on the product other than me so I should go as CD. ECD gave me daggers and released his inner child by stomping out of the meeting. Shawnee’s booking the tickets now! Soooo exciting! Off to London flying First Class! Woo hoo. I love being on fire!